Radical Ramblings by Shiuan Butler

Open Letter to 8asians.com

April 8th, 2011

Dear 8asians.com editors,

It’s been a very interesting last 24 hours since you published your “Open Letter” to me. Since then, I felt attacked for something I strongly believe in. By my own people. Not fun. Maybe that is how you felt when you received my petition letter. If so, I apologize as that was and is not my intention. I was not simply trying to create conflict for its own sake. This is something I care deeply about and that is why I started it. I acknowledge your point that it would have been preferable to engage in a dialogue with you before I started the petition. But I think an open blog-to-blog correspondence is also a good thing.

However, my stance regarding your support of sexist articles has not changed. If anything, the opposition that I met with has only revealed to me the depth and ignorance of sexism within the APA community, which utterly shocked and disappointed me. As long as you allow sexist articles to be published on your site, it shows that sexism towards Asian American women is acceptable and that you condone it. The petition was created to make everyone aware of this problem.

I am sorry if Koji felt personally attacked by my post. I trust if we met in person we would find each other decent, interesting human beings.

There have been many points that have been going back and forth in this argument about whether those articles by Koji are sexist or not. They are. It’s harmful because when we objectify women and women’s bodies then it makes it easier to do lots of other not so good things to them too. No, I don’t think Koji was intentionally trying to be sexist towards Asian women, but sexism is no joke (which he used as an excuse). Sexism creates an unsafe atmosphere where men think it is okay to make lewd comments against women, and women, because we have generally been trained to avoid conflict, will accept this.

You mentioned that 8asians.com believes in including diverse opinions. However, I don’t believe that you would accept a racist article on your blog in the name of diversity. Diversity and freedom of expression does not make it acceptable to publish racist or sexist content. I look forward to when people will realize that tolerating sexism is just as harmful as tolerating racism.

I’ve found that for many women they don’t think sexism is a big deal until something terrible happens to them. To give some context, I will add that I have had my share of abusive experiences with men because I was never taught or warned about how sexist patterns can lead to abuse. I have survived those experiences and I now take all kinds of sexism very seriously. I certainly do not wish bad things to happen to my fellow sisters. But I do wish that as young women we are more vigilant so as to prevent bad things from happening in the first place. Most men are unaware of their sexism, which is why women need to be.

I understand if these things seem much too serious to be considered for the style/content of your blog. I certainly don’t expect you to talk about sex workers and how the average age of entry into prostitution in the U.S. is 13. Many people like to joke about these topics. But as I work with organizations that work directly with these girls, I take it very seriously.

If you are interested in continuing this discussion and dialogue, I would very much appreciate the opportunity to contribute as a guest blogger on 8asians.com. I also will plan on writing posts on my own blog on “Sexism versus Racism”, “Why Sexism Matters”, and other topics to continue educating my readers.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for considering your assumptions for a moment and listening to my opinions as much as you may disagree with them.

 

Sincerely,

Shiuan

Sexism and Internalized Racism: A Case Study

April 4th, 2011

Koji Steven Sakai has contributed several articles to 8asians.com, a relatively popular Asian American blog, including: “Do Asian Women Have the Smallest Breasts?,” “Asian Men and Penis Size,” and “Do Asian Women Have the Smallest Vaginas?”

I will explain how these articles are sexist and only serve to perpetuate stereotypes about Asian women and also why someone would feel the need to write them. (That he mentions Asian penises does not make the other two articles any less harmful.)

There are many layers going on here. And I will go more at length with these topics in other posts, but for now I will try to lay a basic groundwork of information:

All of us are hurt when young by not getting enough closeness and affection. But boys are especially hurt by the expectation that they do not need closeness or affection (after the age of seven or even five) and grow up with even more isolation and loneliness than women. So by the time they are in their twenties and thirties they usually do not have a clue how to reach out and be close to women even if they are craving that closeness. Asian men have also been doubly hurt in this society— by the racism towards Asian men in this country which then adds onto the early hurts. They already feel bad about themselves so it is not so hard to convince them to internalize the racism as well.

In Koji’s articles he brandishes “scientific study” as his reason for setting out on his quest for “the truth” about Asian female breasts and vaginas. However, I’d venture that his reasons for setting out to write these articles, including Asian men’s penis sizes, is quite personal. (Unlike Roger Fan in his short film, The Quest for Length, where Fan is very open and honest about his insecurities.) Why is Koji so curious to know about the exact measurements of Asian women’s body parts? Why doesn’t he ask about what it’s in their minds? I propose that these writings suggest a loneliness and desperation for contact with another human being, specifically women.

All of this does not excuse Koji from the fact that he is being blatantly sexist and oppressive to women when he publishes articles like these. It is one thing to think such thoughts, another to publicly declare them. I also believe 8asians.com should be held responsible for permitting and publishing such sexist content.

What do I mean by sexism? Another way to explain sexism is to use the term “male domination.” That usually helps clarify it for people. We live in a world where rape is commonly and intentionally used as a weapon of war. Where the widespread violence against women and their bodies is worldwide, and media and capitalism combine to convince women to seriously harm our own bodies. And we as Asian women have an added layer because of the double oppression of both sexism and racism.

And it is within this context that a relatively prominent Asian American male feels he has the right to talk about women’s body parts and, specifically, Asian women’s body parts carelessly and with no regard for oppressions at large. He is dehumanizing and objectifying women by doing so. Koji says, “According to the World Map of Average Breast Size… South Asian women are bigger with an average “B” breast cup. Go South Asians!” He does not consider the rampant violence on women’s bodies in our society, including sex trafficking, child trafficking, or domestic violence. He uses examples of soft porn as supposed science. He ends with a plea, “Please email photos of your boobs to koji[a]8asians.com. I wouldn’t say no to an inbox full of ‘research.’ ” Joking is really an excuse to say what one really wants without taking any responsibility for it.

The Asian American community generally is still more aware of racism than sexism. In all of my years studying Asian American studies in high school and in college not once do I remember learning about sexism within the Asian American community or sexism in Asian American history. I learned about a few Asian American women’s achievements, but not about sexism specifically. It would have made a huge difference to me if I had.

Men are not aware of their sexism, nor do they want to hear about it since it makes them feel bad. The “bad feelings” then turn to anger and defensiveness since they already feel bad underneath. Meanwhile, women are not aware of sexism either. We women have a general pattern of not taking charge of our relationships with men and instead want to blame them for our difficulties. This is something men and women both need to work on.

No one is bad for having oppressor patterns. We all carry them. The first step is to become aware of them. One can do so by listening to those in the oppressed groups and by learning from them.

EDIT: Sign the petition to request 8asians to stop posting sexist content!

https://www.change.org/petitions/tell-8asianscom-to-stop-posting-sexist-articles

Pillow Fight NYC 2011!

April 2nd, 2011

So, like a real local New Yorker, I actually attended Pillow Fight NYC 2011 in Union Square this afternoon. It was New York City’s sixth annual and internationally fourth annual Pillow Fight Day. New York City once again pioneers a bizarre tradition. I’ve lived in NYC for three years and have never participated in No Pants Subway Ride, or Topless Bike Protest. I totally avoided the huge pillow fight the last couple of years I’ve lived in New York and was reluctantly dragged to it this year by the BF.

BF: Have I ever taken you to anything that was not fun?

Me: I’ll have to think about it…

I was more than a bit doubtful—sure, pillow fighting is fun with friends or lovers at home, but I was not looking forward to being mobbed by a crowd of pillow-throwing New Yorkers outdoors. However, my excitement rose as we got closer. As we circled the large area we found it surrounded by metal bar fences and cops every ten feet. SRSLY? We finally got in and surprisingly many folks were simply standing around either waiting or shy. I suddenly found myself bonking people as they passed then quickly ducking behind the BF. This was fun! Who knew?

Radical Ramblings by Shiuan Butler