Where I deplore my Asian sisters to stop mocking ourselves in a racist fashion. Your guide to dating Asian women is racist, no matter that you’re Asian.  It’s not funny. You’re not funny. Please stop.

So the other morning I found a google alert in my inbox with the title, “A White Man’s Guide to Dating Asian Girls” and saw that it was written by an Asian woman. in the comedy section of Huffington Post. But as I started reading more and more I realized how non-comedic it was. I tried reading more closely to see if maybe I was missing some deeply hilarious vein due to skimming. Nope. And her bio says she’s a writer for Family Guy.

I don’t even want to quote the article as it’s so not-funny and bizarre but here’s some examples so you see what I’m saying:

“However, no matter what you do, don’t step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish. Yes, we all implicitly know what’s going on here — why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century?”

OMG, WTH? Is she actually implying that the U.S. went to war in Korea and Vietnam (I’m assuming is what she’s referring to) because they wanted to fuck Asian women?? Sure, they did do that (that’s a whole another story about the sexism and male domination in the military and one of the ‘benefits’ they give to soldiers in exchange for getting them to agree to extreme violence) but it’s always for money and greed and power. I mean the whole U.S. government doesn’t want to fuck Asian women.

“Given our immigrant roots, most Asian girls endure a latent insecurity about everything from our boobs to our patriotism (both things that are just slightly there).”

Wow. Self-deprecating humor to this extreme is so not funny. Just makes me want to pity her if I wasn’t so annoyed.

“So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes ‘soup or salad’ for ‘super salad.’ “

Again, she is making fun of us. So if you are white and racist you’d find this funny, but not so much if you’re an Asian American woman. WTH.

I think a big problem is that she’s trying to do racial humor—which is really a very fine balancing act— but without a political sensibility. It’s a fine line between what makes one laugh versus one cringe, but it is a very significant line. One Asian American female comic I love is (obviously) Margaret Cho. She is absolutely hilarious in talking about race, mocking her parents and just being really out there sexually.

Here is Margaret Cho doing an awesome job balancing that line. My favorite stuff is when she talks about sexuality and the G spot but we won’t get into that now, but it’s hilarious and so refreshing to see an Asian woman being bold and public about sex and her personal sexual stuff. But she talks about race and racism below, specifically after the Virginia Tech shooting, and she manages to do it in a way that’s genuine, even talks about her sadness about the events, and then talks about the racism in a way that gets us (Asians) able to laugh about the injustice: “The Virginia Tech shooting happened and they said the person who did it was Asian and I was like OMG, please, please God let it be not Korean, just let it be so many of the other ones, just please not Korean, please not— and it turned out he was Korean… And his name was Cho.”