Where I deliberate if Ryan Lochte should be looked up to and fawned after simply for his looks or do nice abs ever make up for the douchebag within?
So, this was funny today to come upon a New York magazine piece about how Ryan Lochte is such a “laid-back, a free spirit, a chill bro” while Jezebel, I had remembered on the other hand, had just done a piece recently on “10 Reasons Why Ryan Lochte Is America’s Sexiest Douchebag.” Well, isn’t that interesting I thought. Now who is telling the truth, I wonder…
I watched NY mag’s 2.5 minute video where they featured newscasters talking about Lochte’s diamond grill he wore in his mouth at the awards podium. Ryan himself describes it well, “Bling, I mean, definitely, jewelry. Ice. Shiny.” Riight. And his favorite pair of sneakers he designed himself: “Covered in green rhimestones. Those shoes are just gonna light up.” Rhimestones. Right. Gotcha.
As Erin Gloria Ryan wrote in Jezebel’s piece there are several reasons why “Ryan Lochte is America’s Sexist Douchebag.”
Here are my top 3:
1. For one, he told the Times that he’s over the college dating scene, which at 27 years old we would certainly hope so, being 5 to 9 years older than college students.
2. He is also a big fan of one night stands. Apparently that’s all he likes doing. His mom even supports it or at least is very understanding:
3. Ryan explains why girlfriends can really be a royal pain in the ass, especially when there are so many available, willing vaginas out there for the taking:
It was a hard decision but I think Jezebel won. Sorry New York Mag.
But nice abs on sexist douchebags just don’t get me wet.
Also, let’s not forget China’s 16 year-old Ye Shiwen beat Ryan’s 400M time to set a new world record! So why isn’t there a 2.5 minute video about how fucking amazing she is? And all this controversy and disbelief that she couldn’t have done it really she must have been doping claims are still unfounded. I couldn’t have done it even if I was on drugs.