How to get over an ex:
Let’s see, first spin around clockwise 5 times on your left foot, then counter-clockwise on the other, while tapping your head, under a mistletoe and while holding some cow’s tongue under your tongue. That should just about do it! If it were only that simple. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago now and— trust me— I have cried many, many, many tears over it and I am still not (completely) over it.
I think at this point I have come to the realization and am OK with the fact that I am not over it yet and it will simply take time.
I have talked and cried about it in my counseling sessions and still have lots more to do. Reminiscing our past great memories, all that we have built together, our journal that we shared together, the many amazing meals he took me to, birthdays we shared together, business we built together, trust, love, friendship, but mostly caring for each other and all the fun we had together. We did that really, really well.
Yes, there were hard times. And yes they were really, really hard. And I have learned a lot from them. I think. I hope. That to put one’s all into something, like a relationship, and yet not stay together in the end does not make the effort one put into it futile. It was still worth the effort. Life is not about only getting a certain outcome. It is how one lives day to day. About one’s faith in another human being. The love and caring you put into it because you want to, because there is no question, because you love them that much.
It took me some time to get to this point. At first, I blamed myself for a lot of things. For not ending it earlier, for not fixing his temper, for not foreseeing how things would turn out, for loving a man with anger issues. But ultimately, now, I am slowly letting go of my self-blame and simply valuing and treasuring our time we had together. Because there is a lot to hold dear. And I really appreciate that.
At the end of all of this, I’d like to take away that:
I don’t need to close myself off from trusting people in the future.
Our relationship has changed, but it does not need to end. And someday I hope we can be friends again.
The two years together and all the energy and work we both put into it was not a waste of time.
As sad as I am that it has come to an end, all is not lost. What we created together will stay with both of us forever. And that is a valuable thing.