Should you have sex on a first date? Patti always says, “No sex without… monogamy!” So, if you want to see him again, do you really think you should give him everything he wants right away?
I just watched Patti Stanger’s show Millionaire Matchmaker last night, Season 5 Episode 2: The Chauvinist and the Playboy. The Playboy was a 42 year-old man who made a multi-million dollar business for himself out of baseball cards with girls dressed up in Halloween-like sexy lingerie-costumes. I believe he said they’re “collectibles.” And the Chauvinist was a 30 year-old guy (who looked 42), in Vancouver, who has some business that makes a lot of money— something boring I can’t recall— who believes men are better at everything— “look at all the chefs”— and is basically looking for a Stepford wife as Patti calls it.
Patti Tells Sexist Pigs What’s Up
That’s one of the many things I love about Patti and her show. She not only matches people together and gives amazing relationship advice and how to sell oneself, but also she does not let sexist attitudes and pigs just run their shit. She cuts them off immediately and tells them what’s up or boots them off at the end. She doesn’t even want them as her repeat clients if she has to put up with their attitudes, cockiness, etc.
She ends up taking him to her good friend—Tori Spelling’s— house to show the Chauvinist that ‘modern women’ these days can have their own career and also be a domestic housewife and a mother. It didn’t really get into how it places extra onus on women these days to be superwomen, but I appreciated at least that Patti tried to open up his eyes to the fact that women can have careers and be moms. “It’s like a more modern version of my mom,” he says, oh so brilliantly.
How We Are Our Own Worst Enemy When Dating
Long story short, the Playboy as it turns out, chooses the woman at the dinner party that has brains and beauty. That is one interesting thing I have learned from watching the show (usually these shows are not my thing, but the ex got me into it.) You can really see how people shoot themselves in the foot with dating. We really are our own worst enemy. They go with what is hot or whatever their usual pattern is and completely overlook what would truly make them happy. The Playboy, however, doesn’t simply choose a piece of ass and picks the woman he can have a real conversation with. He did originally say he wanted kids and a family. But oftentimes people say they’d like a change, when they’re really not ready for it.
The Chauvinist, on the other hand, ends up flying his woman out from LA. (By the way, he didn’t choose the girl that he thought was interesting, funny, or had a lot in common with. He chose the pretty face.) He “treats” her to a minus 100 degree celsius sauna, where she ends up cursing at him that she wants to get the fuck out a minute before the full 3 minutes are up, still swearing ‘fuck you’ at everyone— because we assume she is oh probably painfully and miserably cold — and then ends up snuggling next to him under a towel. Abusive roller coaster much? She supposedly claims they have great chemistry and after a sexy jacuzzi and dinner, they end up sleeping together which is exactly what Patti always warns all the girls not to do:
Patti: “No sex without—
The 6 Girls: “…Condoms!”
Patty: “No! Monogamy! No sex without monogamy!”
Don’t Give It Up Unless You Don’t Want to See Him Again
The Playboy went on another date with his girl. The Chauvinist, however —shocker— did not fly his date up to Vancouver again. It’s kinda obvious if you think for 2 seconds: That’s a pretty expensive booty call— he had to fly her up there. He already saw everything— there’s no mystery anymore or chase. (And we all know guys love the chase.) And he didn’t have all that much in common with her in the first place because he chose the girl with the pretty face. It’s his money and his wasted time. He obviously wasn’t ready to really settle down yet. (He did say in his intro video it was to satisfy his nagging mom who wants grandkids yesterday.)
Patti’s blog post this morning was titled, appropriately: How to Avoid Being His Booty Call. Unless of course you want the same thing. Hey, I’m not saying that it’s impossible that he’ll call you again—and then you need to decide if you want a booty-call-relationship with him or a dating-relationship— just that if you really like the guy or if you don’t want to establish a habit of not getting calls back, then you should probably lean on the side of no sex until you have guarantee of exclusivity. And can they really promise that on a first date? Unlikely.
Questions: What are your first date tips? Have you broken any dating trends in your past or what have you learned about yourself through dating?
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