For those of you who have been following me for a while will know that I have been offering my eBook, Manifesto for Young Asian Women, for FREE for the last two years. I published it on my birthday two years ago and have intentionally kept it free so as to make it available to the most people as possible. I thought if I kept it free then it would be accessible to more people.
In Pop Asian American News today, this very inspirational young Asian kid (kkpalmer1000 on YouTube) dances and lip syncs to Beyonce’s “Countdown.” Amazing computer graphics aside, I love how boldly and proudly he is just himself. You go!!
Because we Asians have been fighting for equal rights to exhibit trashiness for decades…
So this is kinda embarrassing but apparently there’s been an Asian-cast reality TV show in the making for the last two years, that people are now calling the Asian version of Jersey Shore. Ugh. The executive producer is Tyrese Gibson, model turned filmmaker (who is not even Asian himself—well maybe his grandmother) who got a couple Asian male producers for the show:
“We want to show that they’re lively, fun. That it’s not just a stereotypical image of book nerds,” says producer, Mike Le who looks a bit nerdy himself. (And why are people always hating on nerds, anyways?) One bystander put it well: “They made K-town look glamorous, I guess — or trashy.”
Says the other producer, Eddie Kim, “They are probably afraid that the show will bring a little shame to our culture. But you know what, I think a little shame is a good thing at this point.” Really, Eddie? I’m ashamed of the show and it hasn’t aired yet.
Check it out on YouTube’s LOUD channel tomorrow Wednesday, July 11 for cringing takes. And let’s pray it does not get picked up by a TV station. Or ‘like’ the “Just say NO to the K-Town Reality Show” Facebook page. Or join other Asian fans like DISGRASIAN and angryasianman who are excited to see Asians getting to be trashy too.
Where I reminisce on not missing high school and my life-saving discovery of the existence of racism.
17 years ago, when I was still in high school, I was terribly shy. Which meant I was terrified all of the time. Terrified of being called on by teachers (middle school in Taipei instilled that in me perfectly— even though teachers were loathe to hit me since they knew about my white dad), of getting anything below an ‘A-’, of other kids, of all the white kids, and the few black kids. I wasn’t friends with any of the Asian kids. It was all around not a great time for yours truly.
One significant experience was in junior year when I had the random fortune of being sent to a day-long Asian American conference: CAPAY (Conference for Asian Pacific American Youth). There I met more Asian American youth than I’d ever seen in my life and had the amazing opportunity to talk about our Asian American identity, the generation gap between us and our often immigrant parents, and racism — a brand new concept for me! (I had the hardest time with History in school because the textbooks and teachers just acted like racism did not exist. No wonder I had a hard time understanding the subject… )
Too bad I didn’t get to learn about sexism at that time too— would have been perfect as a young woman of color in high school and all the confusing things I saw around me: a pregnant classmate dropping out of school, people making out in the hallways (which fascinated and repulsed me both but more the latter), that weird ‘sex test’ that was smugly passed around which would score you on how sexually experienced you were (that was easy since I was a big fat zero), and just the prevalence of (male) jerks in our class— but racism was a good start. It helped loads with my self-esteem and self-confidence. So I could start being aware of where I was feeling bad and blaming myself for things that were really a cause of racism and internalized racism. Why blonde Kelly whats-her-name ignored me with a holier-than-thou air when I said hi to her in homeroom; how I felt deficient because my boobs were so much smaller than all the white girls who loved to flaunt theirs; how I simply felt constantly timid and shy. It all must have been horribly stressful. And so a whole new world opened for me when I realized, hey, a lot of other Asian girls feel this way too— it’s not just me! How liberating, how empowering, how wonderful!
Read more in my Manifesto for Young Asian Women.
In light of the recent article in the New York Times on Asian Americans marrying each other in increasing numbers, I dove into one of the studies mentioned and found even more fascinating, if disturbing, facts.
It was interesting to see this article in the New York Times yesterday, “For Asian-American Couples, A Tie That Binds”— never mind the fact that we haven’t used a dash in “Asian Americans” for decades— brought to my attention by Twanna Hines, @funkybrownchick. Although it was very sweet and hopeful to read, I’m not sure upon further reflection if it really provided much new insights or data. The writer mentions that while interracial marriages are at an all-time high in the U.S., between Asians it has been decreasing for the last 10 years. A fact which I also discussed recently in this post. She did note a couple interesting recent studies on interracial marriages at Journal of Marriage and Family and Pew Research Center.
I found it very hopeful and sweet to read the Asian American couples’ stories. Personally, what I find more intriguing and puzzling, however, is when Asians— usually women— prefer dating white men to Asian men. As I delved more into the Pew study myself—titled, “The Rise of Intermarriage: Rates, Characteristics Vary by Race and Gender” by Wendy Wang— some fascinating data came to light:
Wang notes that prior to 1980, on average, amongst white husband-Asian wife couples, the white men were just 1.2 years older than their wives. However, after 1980, the average age difference jumped to 4.8 years gap. More on this, below.
Another study Wang mentions analyzed the “stability” of interracial marriages and noted that on the whole, interracial marriages were less stable: Mixed marriages involving blacks and whites were the least stable followed by Hispanics-white couples. However, among Asian/white couples they were even more stable than white/white marriages.
This is very interesting to me. First of all, simply because a marriage does not end does not mean that it is “stable.” Whatever stable means. They could very well be together and not happy. (I won’t mention how many of those I personally know or at least not who.) I am not at all surprised that Asian/white couples stayed together more than other interracial couples—it is definitely outside of Asian tradition to divorce or “give up trying”—but that does not necessarily mean it is a “successful” marriage.
These two charts I found interesting as well. Asian/white couples make the most money, while Asian/Asian couples come in third. However, education-wise, Asian/Asian couples are the most educated. Not necessarily surprising. It will be interesting to see as the younger start-up generation and Facebook generation gets older if they will be less educated, and make more money. Hmm.
Amongst all interracial couples married between 2008 and 2010, the husband is on average about 2.5 years older than his wife. However, as I mentioned earlier, white husband/Asian wife couples are more than twice that with an age difference of more than five years. More on this below.
First time newlyweds? Among Asian/Asian couples, almost 80% were first time newlyweds. Close behind are Asian husband/White wife couples at 70%. However, in a rare case of being last on the list of all interracial marriages, White husband/Asian wife couples rank the lowest of first time newlyweds at 54%. Hmm… which only brings up more questions—but for more details read on!
Above is another fascinatingly telling chart. This chart highlights the huge distinction between white husband/Asian wife couples and white wife/Asian husband couples. If you look at the row of “H older than W by 10+ years” (a large gap if I may say so myself) the percentage of white husband/Asian wife couples is a high 25% versus white/white and Asian/Asian and even Asian husband/white wife couples averaging around 8-10%. Among those white husband/Asian wife couples, 21% of those white husbands had married before whereas it was their Asian wives’ first marriage, compared to 7-11% in white/white, Asian/Asian, and Asian husband/white wive couples.
And then here we come to the chart of all charts. You can pick out for yourself which facts you find the most interesting. One that stood out for me, that I have not mentioned yet, is the average earnings of the Asian/white couples. Let me pick out a couple interesting rows:
white husband/Asian wife:
age 39
median earning: $48,000
first marriage – 63%
As compared to:
Asian wife/white husband:
age 34
median earning: $17,000
first marriage – 75%
So, theoretically, this is the average white husband/Asian wife couple out there. How about that income discrepancy? Is it a good thing that they can rely on their husbands for money, or bad that they are in a financially dependent relationship which is harder to get out of? And of course the age gap of 10+ years (how many plus is it, anyways?)—the high rate of that—is just plain disturbing.
Anyways, thanks for going through this amazing data analysis adventure with me. Later, I will talk more about real people and my personal experiences beyond the numbers. (I welcome anyone who wants to share their stories—you can email me if you wish to keep it private.) And happy Sunday!