[REMINDER: Upcoming Women's VIRTUAL Retreat on Sun, March 4 from 1:30-3:30pm EST! Early bird price ends on Mon, Feb 26!]
I think one reason I haven't shared as much as I could is one, I felt like well they're here to learn about journaling tips not listen to you blab on and on about random details in your life! (I'm sure you understand about those harsh voices in your head? Yeah.) And I didn't want to waste y'all's time.
And honestly, in my prior life and last blog I tended to overshare so I'm trying to make up for that now.
And lastly, I think I also had this image in my mind of how a 'leader' and 'real entrepreneur' was supposed to sound and act like --- whatever that may be, god knows -- but it wasn't truly me, and it was some act and some mask I had to put on and of course you could sense it even if you couldn't put your finger on it!
So here I go, in trying to start being more open with my life!
I can't believe it, but I am actually moving! I'm still staying within Austin (I couldn't handle another city move in just a few months after such a crazy 2017) but I am moving 40 minutes away more into the heart of Austin and also into my VERY OWN SPACE.
I've lived by myself basically for the last 8 years so it was bit of an adjustment lately living in a space with other people, especially male, and even if you have a relationship with one of them. It's really not the same. I really realized that when I traveled on my own recently and had my own space to myself day in and day out. I could think. Whether it was about my business or what I want to eat or just feel my feelings.
I'm also just SOO excited about being near downtown and getting to meet people and go to funky different things and especially rowing (crew) on the river. Or 'lake' as they call it here.
I'm also preparing to buy a car and that has felt so foreign and grown-upy thing for me to do. You have to remember I'm coming from NYC where people don't drive. Yes, there are cars everywhere but you get in cabs and people commute from Jersey or maybe if you have 2 kids and decently well off, but otherwise we live in the subway and muggy subway platforms. I do still remember driving once when I rented a 'zip truck' to transport my friend's free futon couch and coffee table to my first apartment I lived on my own. That was precarious.
This whole car shopping adventure has been a fascinating learning experience that I never would have chosen otherwise. A typical female, I was never that interested in cars and never grew up with anything fancy or pretty so I mostly just saw them as big necessary boxes that pollute and are functional but not pretty.
I will share after I finally make my decision but suffice it to say that I now have gone down the manual path (because the nice used care I found is stick and is an AMAZING deal) and am seriously considering buying stick though I don't know how to drive stick yet (that's what youtube videos are for!!).
Baths have been my daily self-care, meditative and rejuvenating routine. I light my beeswax candles, throw in some flower petals (OK they fell in from my dying Trader Joe flowers), and tune out to Gilmore Girls. I ran out of my epsom salts.
4. SELF-REMINDERS: LIKE I AM NOT A FAILURE JUST BECAUSE _________
Being gentle on myself has been really really important lately. Almost anything can set me off these days, and I'm like the Niagara fall waterworks here. Remembering to take things one step at a time (because just thinking of packing again overwhelmed me since I packed like 6 times last year, not including unpacking) has been absolutely crucial.
And reminding myself that just because I'm doing _______ again does not make me a failure. A girlfriend reminded me that yea those are some heavy voices in our heads, whether it's 'I really regret ________' or my version, we are being crazy hard on ourselves and if it was anyone else we would be understanding and say, hey, it's life. You live and you learn.
It's OK to get those feelings out, with a girlfriend, and in your journal, but then outside of that it's important to not let those monsters rear their ugly heads and control your airtime. Keep switching the channel, whatever you need to do, to turn your attention elsewhere. I'll get off my soapbox now!
5. THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME HAPPY, INCLUDING FLOWERS, STARBUCKS, APARTMENT DESIGN
It's the little things. That's what they say and I totally believe that's true. Whether it be relationships or life in general, the little things are what makes up our day which makes up our week, month, and year. And when times are harder than usual, it's the little things that can lift you up.
For me, lately it's been flower arranging and then getting to appreciate the flowers everyday. I love having them in the bathroom and unexpected places like that. And every room really. They really do make a house a home.
The quiet working moments at Starbucks. OK they are kinda loud. But as a non 9-5er (8-6p) it's essential for me to be around others and just feel others' energy as well.
I've been LOVING looking at apartment design ideas online. And small spaces magazine. While my new space is not that small compared to typical city apartment spaces these days, at 600 sf I'd really like to do something nontypical with my space. Also since I'm starting from nothing basically (my furniture was lost due to the fire last year) there's so much potential! I can do anything! I want it to feel bright and airy and colorful and maybe even beachy. I know I definitely want it to be my happy place and inspirational place.