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It has been a difficult last week and a half. My Nana of 94 years passed away last Monday. Monday was a hard, long day understandably, with travel and trying to communicate between various family members. But I did try to carve out time for myself (not going to work the next day was a very smart decision-- thank you, Dana). Grief, as a girlfriend said, is not a linear process.
Nana's service is this weekend and I have decided to say something. Although with my shyness patterns, combined with an overwhelming wave of emotions I originally was not planning on it. But then I quickly realized that Nana would probably like it if I said something and that would be the right thing to do (not just focus on my own fears) so I am.
I did want to get back to my regularly scheduled programming (BOUNDARIES) though this week. I've had some time with friends out of town and that was nice to get away from everything, but I also feel ready to dive back into my life and routines. Speaking of routines that have helped keep me sane during this period --- my vegan fitness lifting training has been going really well. I've so enjoyed it and am loving feeling strong and feeling of getting stronger.
This month's theme is Boundaries, and what I'm realizing more and more is --- it is almost always useful, especially during difficult periods in one's life. During the last week I needed to coordinate logistics, think about certain family members, coordinate with work, all while being in a foggy headspace from grief. I definitely thought about others, but also was clear in my own head at what point was my limit of extending myself. And where I did not have the energy beyond that line. I think by having that clarity it helps me be clear where my responsibility falls and ends. I am flexible with myself as well. Sometimes I think I will go do something for someone else, but if it turns out I don't have the time after all because I had to take care of things for myself --- commitments notwithstanding-- then I will be flexible in the moment and say OK, not this time. It is also a matter of being gentle with oneself. Whatever one is capable of doing is enough. It will have to be.
Let me circle back here for a moment. I wanted to answer the very basic question:
WHAT ARE B O U N D A R I E S ?
Boundaries are a 1. Physical, but most likely emotional and/or mental separation or demarcation that one forms in one's mind between oneself and another person or thing, in an attempt to preserve one's energy and/or protect oneself from others' toxic energy or demands.
Many times we may feel we would like to have boundaries in certain areas, but may feel bad to do so. In my upcoming course, I talk about creating firm, but invisible boundaries so that they are effective and known to you, but not necessarily shoved in the face of others you don't want to know.
In summary, boundaries are good healthy things to have in one's life. We may just need a little tact and creativity and tenacity to help us along in creating them.
Your Daily 10 Minute Journaling Prompts:
Day 1 - What does healthy boundaries mean to you? Explore all your thoughts, doubts, meanderings...
Day 2 - Do you feel you've seen any model of a good boundary? Either in a friend, coworker, family or movie?
Day 3 - What do you think sounds hard or anticipate to be difficult in setting up boundaries in your life? Or if you feel it's easy, talk about one you already have set up!
Day 4 - REST DAY - Sit with a cup of tea or go explore your neighborhood! This day is for you.
Day 5 - What do you envision your life to be like if you were able to create healthy boundaries for yourself?
Day 6 - What is one situation or area in your life right now where you'd love to have a boundary?
Day 7 - Congratulations! What are 3 things you appreciate about yourself this week? It does not necessarily have to be things you did, though they could be. It could also be just for being you!