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At this point, we've gone over the basics of how SD affect you, where they were borne from, identifying one of your SD patterns etc. I think you are most definitely a Self-destructive Pattern Expert by now!
Also important to remember, is there are all sorts of patterns. And one isn't necessarily better than another. They are all just things to be worked through.
The other important thing I'd like for you to remember is that none of this is your fault-- including, that you accumulated these patterns, that you are figuring out how to work through them, that they are still with you, etc.
This is one of the hardest things you will do in your life -- is work on ending your patterns and healing from your patterns.
So how can we start tackling this lifelong work?
First, I'd like you to choose one of your SD patterns in your mind and hold it. Got it?
Here is my basic 3 step process for interrupting and ending our pattern:
1. NAME IT
When you first notice it popping up and you notice you are acting or thinking within the pattern (Example: "Yea, riding my bike in between these 2 trucks instead of waiting is a great idea!") try to catch yourself in that moment. Say to yourself: oh, there's that silly SD pattern again! Just being aware of what we are doing is an important first step.
2. QUESTION IT
Now that we have started paying attention to when it rears its silly head, we can start questioning it and poking holes in it.
"Hey... now, does that really make the best sense for me right now to be doing that?"
"Is that really best for me? For real?"
3. A SUGGESTION
Now that we've questioned it and ourselves, we can start thinking of alternative solutions. I could choose to not take risks at that level when I'm biking in rush hour. I could try to find some patience instead. And if you can't think of any, maybe you can call up a friend (this is for larger decisions where you have a little time) and ask them, "Hey what do you think of this? Is this the best decision for me?"